Free Indeed

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1

A couple of weeks ago I watched a video that was circulating in some of the circles I used to live in, and while I watched the video I felt fear and anxiety come flooding into and over me. Waves of panic broke at my throat. What if I’ve been wrong? What if the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket? What if there is separation? What if we really do have to do or believe something to bridge that expanse? What if I’ve been breathing too easy? What if I I’ve been too free?

I’ve learned that when I feel this way, I need to get up and do something, so I closed my laptop and took my dogs to our backyard.

Later that evening I wrote this poem as a response to my reaction.

TOO FREE

Sometimes I
See something,
Hear something,
Read something.
From people
From the places
I used to live between.

And sometimes,
For a moment,
I get that tight
Feeling.
Fear crawling
In my throat.

Maybe they’re
Right.
What if I’m
Wrong?

What if I have to go
Back?
What if I’ve been

Too free?

Too free.

Free

In that moment
I stop.

I remember when
I felt this way.
I remember how
Tight and tempting
Lies of separation,
Lies of aloneness
taste.

I say the words out
Loud,
“I’m scared I am too free.”
“This yoke feels too easy.”
“This burden feels too light.”
“I’m scared I am too free.”
Then I laugh,
Look up.
The oak leaves
Brush the sky and
Laugh with me.
“Too free,”
As if there was such a thing.

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